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' and it just doesn't work that way," he says.
"It's the equivalent of walking up to a stranger in a bar and saying 'hey, wanna fuck'?
You can't just log into a webcam community and get laid, any more than you can join an online role-playing game and hook up without making any further effort.
You have to spend some time, talk to people, form relationships, and maybe – just maybe – sex will happen.
most common questions in my e-mail is some variation on this: "How do I find women to have cybersex with? People still seem to believe the internet is full of millions of lonely, socially inept dweebs desperately masturbating with other lonely, socially inept dweebs pretending to be porn stars. Few writers bother to look beyond the fear to find other stories about sex in virtual spaces.
And what television news program wants to report on normal people having a great time visiting and flirting and possibly sharing orgasms – normal people who then log off and go about the rest of their normal lives?
Some rooms warn you first."Not everyone uses a webcam during chat, while others – especially couples – connect their home video cameras to their computers and provide the highest quality video."It's really nice when the couples are on cam together," says Kirk.
"It's good to see people who are actually attracted to each other and not having sex for money," he says.The draw now is the community itself, the relationships he has formed over time."I like coming home and chatting with people," he says."Often the conversation in the room is pretty superficial, but talking behind the scenes in IM can get more substantive."He does admit to the occasional "wank session," though.We had a private webcam conversation that confirmed what I already knew: Nothing but the tech has changed since my days as Aphrodite.Kirk says his main responsibility as room admin is "to kick out the creeps."Minors and spammers are booted without question; so is anyone who starts "directing" – telling other people what to do on their cameras – or harassing other members, particularly the women. " or trying to lure premium members to free instant messengers is also grounds for bouncing.