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I think at this stage that his actions are what's important – the more he's actively participating in the planning of the wedding the more committed he is to the relationship.

As I said earlier, many people feel like it's not really a committed relationship until you've both exchanged vows and said "I do".

Have you ever really sat down and thought about what it is, exactly, that you're looking for when you say you want a committed relationship?

When you think that you want a guy to In the past (i.e.

While in most cultures divorce is an option, it's not easy physically, emotionally or financially, making it a further deepening of the commitment.

On the other hand, maybe you don't feel like you need to be married to feel committed.

This is where it starts to require some compromise.

This is also where true commitment starts, because it means that you're both willing to work things out instead of just breaking up at the first sign of anything that doesn't resemble the fairy tale.

My question to you is this: What does commitment really mean?

I don't think so – being married and having the ring on your left hand is only a symbol of the commitment – the true commitment is in the day to day living of your lives together where almost everything you do affects each other.

This is where you are not only married, but you are 100 percent devoted to making the marriage work (i.e. This is a strengthening of the dedication in the relationship that was hopefully already present in the earlier stage. For example, if he spends a holiday with your family, is it OK if he just shows up, but spends the day on the couch watching the football game?

But within each of these definitions lie other, deeper, more subtle sub-definitions. Or do you want him to spend that time getting to know your family and getting involved in any issues or discussions that involve their lives? Are you the type of woman who likes her own independence, likes to be able to have a "girls' weekend" or at least a girls' night out now and then? Will he mind if you pick up his phone and look through his contacts or listen to his voice mails? My husband and I have a very transparent relationship – he doesn't care if I go through his phone contacts, voice mails or emails, and I don't care if he goes through mine.

Do you like to go out to lunch or for coffee with your own friends once a week? Is it OK for you to go hang out with an ex (or for him to hang out with an ex)? He has my passwords and I have his – only because we keep them in the same place. Is it about your lives being completely intertwined?

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This term can apply regardless of whether or not you are already physically intimate or not.

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